The Los Angeles region is still reeling from the catastrophic fires that started Jan. 7, and communities across the region and beyond continue to support people directly impacted by the fires through donation drives, free food events and more. We recently spoke with Supatra Tovar, Psy.D., a local clinical psychologist, registered dietitian and fitness expert about some powerful ways to respond and support each other during disasters.
What neighborhod do you live in?
I currently live in Monterey Hills but have also lived in Beverly Hills adjacent, the Westside and Long Beach. These experiences have deepened my understanding of the diverse needs and resilience of Los Angeles communities. I also am the Disaster Response Co-Chair for the Los Angeles County Psychological Association and serve greater Los Angeles.
So many of us in Los Angeles know families who have lost everything. How can we as individuals help?
As individuals, we can provide both practical and emotional support. Tangible help could include donating essential items like food, clothing or hygiene products to families directly or through reputable organizations. Financial contributions to trusted disaster relief funds are often the quickest way to address urgent needs.
Emotionally, the best support is showing empathy. Be present, listen to their stories without judgment and allow them to share their emotions. Let them lead the conversation about what they need and follow through on any commitments to help.
What words should we use? What specific actions should we take?
Use compassionate and validating language when speaking to those who have experienced a loss. Phrases like, “I’m so sorry this happened to you” or “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed — this is a lot to process,” can be comforting. Avoid clichés like, “Everything happens for a reason,” which can feel dismissive.
Take specific actions, such as:
- Offering practical help such as preparing meals, providing transportation or helping with childcare.
- Organizing community efforts such as donation drives, meal trains or recovery events.
- Checking in regularly. Don’t assume their need for support has ended after the initial disaster.
What should we not say and do?
Avoid saying things that minimize their experience, such as “At least you still have [something]” or comparing their situation to others. Grief and recovery are personal, and comments like these can feel invalidating.
Also, avoid taking over or assuming you know what they need. Instead of saying, “Here’s what you should do,” ask, “How can I support you?” And don’t pressure them to move on or “stay positive.” Healing takes time.
Our readers are parents. What can they do specifically to ease their children’s anxiety during this time?
Parents can ease their child’s anxiety by creating a sense of safety and stability. Children take emotional cues from their parents, so it’s essential to model calmness even during difficult times.
Steps include:
- Maintaining regular routines to provide stability and structure.
- Being honest with your child, but explaining the situation in an age-appropriate way.
- Validating their emotions by saying, “It’s okay to feel scared or upset. I feel that way too sometimes.”
- Providing reassurance that the family is working together to stay safe.
- Limiting their exposure to distressing news or adult conversations about the disaster.
How can kids feel more empowered during this time? What can they do?
Empowering kids during a disaster helps them regain a sense of control. Encourage them to participate in age-appropriate recovery activities, such as helping to sort donations, drawing pictures for affected families or writing thank-you notes to first responders.
Teach simple coping strategies such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises to help them manage their emotions. Highlight their contributions to the family’s resilience with affirmations like, “Your help is making a big difference for us right now.”
Tell us about the importance of community and peer support during this time.
Community and peer support are vital during disaster recovery, as they provide both practical assistance and emotional comfort. A compelling example is the recent initiative led by TikTok personality Juan Diaz, known as @rocknrollfoodie. Initially, Diaz set up two hot dog carts at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena to feed survivors of the Eaton fire, planning to serve 500 hot dogs. However, through the power of social media, this modest effort transformed into a massive donation site. People from various areas contributed food, clothing, toiletries and other essential items, demonstrating the profound impact of community mobilization.
In response to the wildfires, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association (LACPA) has mobilized to support affected communities, including a comprehensive resource page that offers information on emergency services, mental health support and coping resources for all ages. Additionally, LACPA is collaborating with the mayor’s office, first responders and survivors at various events, such as Heal Dena Days and the San Gabriel Lunar Lantern Festival, to provide psychological first aid and promote community resilience.
Supatra Tovar, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist, a registered and BASI-certified Pilates fitness expert. Tovar founded ANEW (Advanced Nutrition and Emotional Wellness) to offer simple routines to improve your mindset, health and spirit. For more, visit anew-insight.com and drsupatratovar.com.
